Does getting feedback make you anxious?
Feedback is an essential component of personal and professional growth, yet the fear of feedback can be overwhelming.
You get a call or a ping from your manager and it says “I would like to give you some feedback” How do you feel in that moment? Does your heart race, your stomach in knots, you start sweating. Don’t worry you are not alone and it can get better with practice. You do not have to immediately react from a place of anxiety and fear.
Here are 10 things to consider if your first reaction to the word feedback is getting anxious.
This fear often stems from a fear of judgment, rejection, or perceived inadequacy. Learning to manage this fear not only improves our performance but also fosters resilience and self-awareness. Here are some strategies to help you navigate the anxiety associated with receiving feedback.
1. Understand the Purpose of Feedback
First and foremost, it’s crucial to reframe your perspective on feedback. Instead of viewing it as criticism, see it as an opportunity for growth. That is a lot easier to say than to actually do. For a lot of us the fear of feedback is a reaction to growing up and prior bad experiences. Remember, feedback should be a tool that helps you identify areas for improvement and reinforces your strengths. It’s a valuable resource for personal development and achieving your goals.
2. Prepare Mentally – Manage your fear of feedback
Before receiving feedback, prepare yourself mentally and understand your base reaction is from a place of fear. Acknowledge your fear but don’t let it control you. Remind yourself that feedback is not a reflection of your worth but a guide to becoming better. Practice mindfulness techniques, such as deep breathing or meditation, to calm your nerves and center your thoughts.
3. Seek Feedback Proactively
Taking the initiative to seek feedback can be empowering. When you actively ask for feedback, you are in control of the situation. It demonstrates your commitment to improvement and can make the feedback process feel less intimidating. Start with people you trust and gradually expand to others.
4. Focus on the Specifics
General feedback can be vague and overwhelming. Request specific feedback on particular areas or tasks. Ask for an example. or more than one. This way, you can focus on concrete aspects of your performance and understand precisely what needs improvement. It also helps in breaking down the feedback into manageable actions.
5. Separate Yourself from the Feedback
It’s important to distinguish between feedback on your work and feedback on your character. Negative feedback does not mean you are a bad person or incompetent. It simply means there are areas where you can improve. By separating your identity from your performance, you can approach feedback more objectively.
6. Practice Active Listening
When receiving feedback, listen actively without interrupting or becoming defensive. Pay attention to what is being said and ask for clarification if needed. This demonstrates your willingness to learn and shows respect for the person providing the feedback.
7. Reflect and Act
After receiving feedback, take time to reflect on it. Consider how the feedback aligns with your personal and professional goals. Develop a plan of action to address the areas highlighted. This proactive approach shows that you value the feedback and are committed to making positive changes.
8. Build a Support System
Surround yourself with supportive individuals who can provide constructive feedback and encouragement. A strong support system can help you process feedback more effectively and boost your confidence. Seek mentors, peers, or friends who understand your goals and can offer valuable insights.
9. Accept yet verify
Acknowledge that sometimes feedback is just one persons opinion. You may have caught them on a bad day or they have prior experiences that clouds their opinion. It can be very helpful to reach out to your support system and ask clarifying questions. Start the conversation by asking how they perceived you during a meeting or presentation. If they confirm the feedback then say thank you. If they do not continue to ask probing questions. Sometimes you are going to get feedback that may not be accurate in the larger scheme of things and that is ok.
10. Celebrate Progress
Finally, celebrate your progress, no matter how small. Acknowledge the improvements you’ve made based on the feedback received. Recognizing your achievements reinforces a positive attitude towards feedback and motivates you to continue striving for excellence.
Managing the fear of feedback is a journey that involves changing your mindset, preparing yourself, and taking proactive steps. By understanding the value of feedback and approaching it with an open mind, you can transform fear into a powerful catalyst for personal and professional growth. I know, easier said than done but take small steps and it will get easier.